This week my 8yr old bearded dragon, Jubjub, has passed away. After a long battle of nursing him back to health, it was okay to let go and we've said our goodbyes. When i got him back in 2016 my life was so different. I was 25 years old, uncertain of the future. Jubjub has seen me through so much transitions, life phases and changes. A lot of relationships, personal style changes, personal growths, through failures and wins. A lot of mental health struggles and hyperfixations. When all of my other pets died (i had frogs and another beardie, Oni) he's the only one who stayed. Him being around meant im not completely unloveable and alone. That i am deserving of companionship and love. He depended on me and i depended on him. We had each other. Now I am married, moved to Germany, Snifflehubby and me bought our first house. I feel secured and loved. Never going to feel alone nor abandoned ever again. Jubjub is a core member of this family we built. It was never just me and snifflehubby, it was always us three. Then we added 2 cats Fushi and Coco. I am hurting so much that he left so soon after reaching our dream of stability. There is such a big void in our hearts. We have been fighting almost a year to nurse him back to health. I do not want my memories of him being an active silly beardie be replaced of him constantly struggling to live and suffering everyday. He was on treatment for pneumonia however his body has not been receptive to medication, antibiotics, and treatments. His health continued to degrade and his body quickly changed from healthy to very dehydrated. At this point I just do not want him to suffer anymore and i tell him that it's okay to rest. that i will be fine and he should let go whenever he is ready. that i love him very much. I held him when i found out he has passed hours after i gave him his daily drink of water. I held him for the last time. We were crying a lot but know in our hearts Jubjub is free of pain. May his next life be full of happiness. May I have the honour of being with him again in another form in another life. He will live on through me and i will carry him in my heart always and forever. Goodbye my sweetest Jubjub. Thank you for being my strength and pillar of my sanity during my darkest days. Thank you for your love and patience with me. If I have ever let you down I am so sorry. Taking care of you has brought me so much love, joy and pride. I love you so much.
